Saturday, April 26, 2008

Jakob Nielsen Is Full Of Shit

Well that's what I heard.

I guess I just can't shake the impression that this guy likes to piss on beauty. Oh sure, he talks about multi-disciplinary teams and whatnot, but I think he derives perverse satisfaction from the effect his rhetorical position has on its detractors. He seems rather smug. But hey, I’ve been called a turgid prick and I while I suppose I might be, I don’t believe I am. So perhaps the whole thing is more complicated. Perhaps Jacob is a wonderful fellow.

My guess is that it has to do with the whole “Two Cultures” thing. Any web designer who has worked with a UX or usability expert knows what I’m talking about. The same holds true in reverse. I imagine the same pattern plays in all kinds of contexts; screenwriters and audience testers, architects and engineers, CEOs and CFOs. There is a tension that always exists between what is proven and what is possible.

There’s still compelling evidence to suggest Jacob is a punk. I mean, check out his site. The home page is pretty offputting as user experience goes what with all those links. He’s got this page called, “Why This Site Has Almost No Graphics”. In it he says that,

I am not a visual designer, so my graphics would look crummy anyway. Since this website is created by myself (and not by a multidisciplinary team as I always recommend for large sites) I didn't want to spend money to hire an artist.
Lame. If you really want to sell your message, it seems incumbent upon you to do your best to make it viscerally appealing. I’m sure there are designers who would redesign the site in return for publicity.

Then again, I’m drunkblogging so I realize perhaps I’m just being an asshole. Sorry Jake. I’m just fuggin’ with ya. I love nerds.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Grounded Chips, VII

It's been some time since the last update on my little Terra Chips interaction. I can't say that there's anything really new to report. I couldn't seem to justify to myself the time and effort to record a phone call to their customer service team given the other important things to which I've had to attend. (Links to the previous posts, in case they’re needed: I, II, III, IV, V, VI - Fail.) And in case I you're still wondering, the Terra Chips folks have still not responded to me, nor do I expect they will.

That said, I wanted to post to say thank you to the folks who offered comments and posts on their blogs. As I said repeatedly, this isn't some kind of watershed experiment. I had no pretentions about breaking through some profound barrier. I simply wanted to point out how pervasively diseased marketing has become. Terra Chips is a great brand. They make a great product. They are simply one of many—in fact, one of the overwhelming majority—of consumer-facing businesses that fail utterly at creating a genuine relationship with their customers. The reason for this state of affairs is simply that mass marketing as we’ve known it since Oyster Bay—indeed since Gutenberg—has reached the end of its utility. I’ve been wanting to post about exactly this, and I have in the past. I’ve got more to say about it, but that will have to wait for another post which I intend to give a snappy title something along the lines of, “Marketing Can Kiss My Ass.”

Continue reading "Grounded Chips, VII" »

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Grounded Chips, VI - Fail

One trip to the grocery and one blown PSU later and I can finally offer a final post in the wait for some response from the Terra Chips people. I've got a brand new bag of Lay's Kettle Cooked Original Potato Chips. They're good, although honestly, they're not as good as the Terra. At least I could easily open the bag. (Again, if you haven't read the other posts in this series, here are some links: I, II, III, IV, V. In a nutshell, their bag is hard to open.)

What's the upshot of all of this? Not much. I do know this much: Google is crazy ubiquitous. Google will index this post. It will parse the following sentences. Terra Chips Consumer Relations failed to relate to this consumer. Terra Chips failed to respond to a legitimate complaint. Terra Chips ignored a consumer that was an admitted fan of their product who happened to have a small criticism. Terra Chips failed to prove their claim that they care about their customers' questions and comments.

I'm interested to call Terra Chips Consumer Relation and see if they every actually received my emails. They're located in Colorado and I'm in Missouri. Based upon the information I've read, there are no state laws that would require more than one party to a phone conversation to give consent in order to record that conversation. If I can find the time and setup the equipment, I'll call them and publish the recording here.

To all the folks that manage the Terra Chips brand and their Consumer Relations group, I'm sorry this went down this way. I was really pulling for you guys to get in the conversation. I was prepared to give the Terra Chips brand full marks for their gumption. I don't want to just trash the brand because they've got a few things right--like they make a great chip. But they definitely missed an opportunity here. And they've demonstrated the self-serving nature of their "contact us" page. And they've made liars of themselves inasmuch as they suggested that they care about my questions and comments and then never actually addressed them.

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Grounded Chips, V

So there are just crumbs in the bag of chips. It's late Sunday night here. I'd like to give the Terra Chips folks one more business day to respond. (If you don't know the story, you can view the posts leading to this one: I, II, III, IV.)

Continue reading "Grounded Chips, V" »

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Grounded Chips, IV

Matt offers an excellent suggestion about how to draw a line in the ground potato chip crumbs as it were. As he suggests, there's no particular science to deciding how long one should wait for a response from a company before you determine that they're not being entirely honest when they say they care about your questions and comments. My writing would also seem to demonstrate that I have a hard time determining when to end a sentence, but that is another matter entirely.

Taking Matt's suggestion, I shall arbitrarily decide that the Terra Chips Consumer Relations team isn't particularly interested in my comments and questions as of the day we finish the remaining chips in the bag and go buy more (perhaps other) chips. Given that half the bag of chips is now inside my vacuum, it shouldn’t be long. Given that I’m having a mild attack of diverticulitis (don’t ask), I’ll leave it up to my wife and kids to consume said chips.

What’s more, Matt has been kind enough to offer support of my chip foibles over at the Integrity Corporation blog. Given Google’s willingness to index anything and its love of all things blog, I’m not surprised to find my post comes up at the top of this search and it is the second result for this search.

Continue reading "Grounded Chips, IV" »

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Grounded Chips, III

Another day goes by with no response from Terra Chips Consumer Relations. (If you haven’t read the first post on the subject, you can go here and do so. ) I'd like to think the lack of response is not because their conception of consumer relations includes ignoring the consumer for two days. I'd like to think it is because they're really busy and just haven't gotten around to responding. That’s my hope, because I still like the product. It really does taste great. Get a bag for yourself and note first how difficult it is to open but then how good the chips are.

I really don't expect anything from them. I don't need free chips or anything like that. Mostly, I'd just like to know that they heard me. I don't expect them to change for me, but I would hope they could at least do me the courtesy of offering some explanation for my experience. Maybe it’s the intended behavior of the package. Maybe they’re trying to say, “hey it’s hard work to get the bag open which is done out of respect for how great the chips are—y’know, like ya gotta work for it.” Whatever the reason for the packaging and for the nature of the contact form, I can’t see how it would be particularly onerous for them to explain it to me. I did give them my address after all.

Continue reading "Grounded Chips, III" »

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Grounded Chips, II

As per Skye's suggestion, I'm creating a new post for each update to the Terra Chip saga. So far nothing after an entire work day. I'm starting to wonder if my questions and comments are so very important to them after all. If I get something else, I'll pass it along.

 
 
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