I … i … THINK … think … HE … he … SLISTENING … slistening … ing …

Hearing aids are mismarketed. Right now, I should be trying to figure out how to pay $3000 for some espionage-ready X-man hearing skills. I’m talking targeted, telescopic microamps that add 100 zeros to the Whisper 2000. Seriously, these things should make the Bionic Man noise when I jut out my neck and crank heavy reverb when I suck in sound, hands on hips.
“Honey, the neighbors have termites.”

2 thoughts on “I … i … THINK … think … HE … he … SLISTENING … slistening … ing …

  1. Bionic ears … I love it. Not only can he hear the termites, his neighbor’s old school hearing aid whistles like a short wave radio (which he has the option of hearing in mp4, mp3, wave, and aiff formats and saving directly to his iPod or Zune).
    Your technological aspirations remind me of a thought I’ve had for some time and am still working through: as humans, we aren’t finished evolving.
    To claim that we are all we’ll ever be as we exist right now would be awfully conceited, don’t you think?
    Example: Of the senses we possess, sight is the only one of which we have voluntary control (for those of us who are fully-functioning, unaltered, non-mutant specimens, at least). You want to see? Open eyes. Don’t wanna look? Close ‘em.
    I believe (and I have no scientific credentials to substantiate this claim) this ability isn’t the end of the line for human evolution. If, for no other reason than to simply survive, the human body sees fit over the next 250-500+ years – maybe even a few millenia – to adapt to the ever-changing environment as it erodes/improves, your fourth generation of grandchildren may be able to voluntarily stop smelling, hearing, tasting and feeling. Coupled with steadily increasing mortality rates, we’re talking about a possibly interesting state of existence for human beings over the next several centuries. Of course, it’s possible we’ve blown up the world by then.
    This is where I believe the biotech/nanotech industry is sitting in a similar position as their alternative energy counterparts; hedging and speculating on future needs given present information is a risky, yet potentially rewarding activity.
    All of this, of course, brings with it incredible legal and ethical liabilities, something we’ll never need a hearing aid to figure out.

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