Matthew Jensen

If there’s any truth to the power of a first impression, then this sentence is a wasted opportunity. I should’ve put a zinger right up front. From the very first word, this introduction should’ve melted your face until it dripped down your shirt and gummed up your keyboard. But what did I put instead, limply leading the way? The word “if”.

IF!

Even in caps it’s the weakest of conjunctions!

It’s just that, practically speaking, in a few short blurbs I’m supposed to have you convinced that I’m a promising cross-discipline creative asset. And I’ve already blown my first impression and this subsequent opportunity to overcompensate. A better copywriter would’ve composed this paragraph entirely of adjectives and a better designer would have put this thing on a yellow background.

At this point, it probably doesn’t matter that I’ve obliterated the expectations of my colleagues and clients—you’ve probably stopped reading and I don’t blame you. You’ll never know that whether I’m acting as a creative lead, strategist, art director, or copywriter, I concoct novelty through experience. You’ll never read about how I tackle comunication challenges with media-conscious skill and passion. Even if you had made it this far, you would have seen the glaring typo in the previous sentence and removed me from all consideration. You see? I’ve done this to myself!

When I resubmit to you this introduction under a different name, I’ll relate my successful history at nimble marketing boutiques. I’ll point out my increasing levels of responsibility and breadth of exposure. I’ll make a compelling case for the mutual benefit of our partnership. I’ll suggest you visit my portfolio at www.babyimsorry.com. And I definitely won’t start with “if”.

I’m sorry,

Matthew D. Jensen
Unapologetic Creative

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